I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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