Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize