he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
