At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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