STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
