Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
