Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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