i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
