Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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