So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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