Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
