i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
