Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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