Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize