he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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