My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
