I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will pee on everything he values.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
