Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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