RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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