walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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