i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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