she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
