woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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