you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
