In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
