dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
