Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
