Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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