I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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