I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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