The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
