Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
