Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
