I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
