Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
