Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sorry about my life...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
