NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
