I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
