standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I will pee on everything he values.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
