Betty ford says i'm here all night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
