i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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