What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
