I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
