We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
