i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
