Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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