So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
