we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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