...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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