love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
