Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
