Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
