It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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