worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
