Cold hands, warm shart.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A+ Viking dick
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
