Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
