Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
