sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize