I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
