Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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