there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
